3D-VA Positive Communication with NLP blog

NLP can totally transform your communication so in this short blog, I will give you my 3 top tips, to using the power of NLP to make your communication more positive.

What is NLP?

NLP standards for Neuro Linguistic Programming. What does it mean?

Neuro relates to the brain.

Linguistic is language.

Programming is a process to implement a change.

So, NLP is using the power of language to change how you think.

The things we say both out loud and when we talk to ourselves inside our head, have a massive impact on how we think, which affects what we do and the results we get. For instance, tell yourself ‘I’m no good’ often enough and then you will start to believe it. Try telling yourself ‘I’m brilliant, and I can achieve anything’ and then see what changes in your life.

One of my favourite quotes of all time is from Henry Ford “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t – you’re right” Our thoughts become things.

NLP lets us choose our words wisely to effect positive change on our brains and our thinking. So, by changing your words you change your results.

How can NLP help me?

Suppose you could change how someone thought, would that be useful? Maybe you are trying to sell your idea, a product, or tickets to your event, what if the language you used could make people be even more interested?

Here’s a quick example – Don’t think of a banana.

Now I know that you had to think of a banana, even for half of a second, so you knew what it was that weren’t supposed to think about! Our brain cannot process the negative. It hears ‘think of a banana’ and the don’t is an afterthought.

Now think how many times we say don’t.

  • Don’t forget to buy your tickets.
  • Don’t be late.
  • or don’t play with scissors!

What our brain hears is ‘forget to buy your tickets ‘be late’ and ‘play with the scissors!’ so cut out the don’t.

What can I do to get started? Here are my top 3 tips.

1. Drop the don’t!

Instead of using don’t, say what you do want instead.

Remember to sign up.

Be on time.

Put the scissors down please!

This one simple trick will transform your results.

2. Use positive words

Imagine someone sends a text saying, ‘can I call you this afternoon?’ so you reply with ‘no problem’.

Your responses was positive, you were saying yes. But funnily enough you didn’t say yes.

You said no problem. Think about that for a second, your two-word response was no and problem. Two negative words and therefore not positive. What a strange way to say yes!

And again, the other person’s brain is struggling with processing no and problem as a positive response. Therefore they might be thinking, oh maybe it is a problem and they’re just being polite.


  • No problem, it makes people think of problems.
  • No need to worry, it makes people think about needing to worry.
  • It’s no trouble, it makes people think of trouble.

And start saying great. It’s easy. I’d love to. Everything is going to plan.

3. Pre-framing

My final tip to get you started is the power of the pre-frame.

Framing is about putting a frame around something, setting the boundary. Pre-framing is about setting expectations right from the start.

For example, If I say this blog will answer all your questions about using NLP in your communications, I am setting myself up for failure. There is no way I can cover it all in one short blog. However, if I say this blog will cover the 3 top tips to get you to start using NLP to create positive communications. I have set expectations and so this is much more likely to lead to a successful outcome.

By saying what you will cover and what you won’t, how long the session will last, when it is ok to ask questions and where people can go to find out more, you are setting the scene for success.

How can I find out more?

If you like to read some of my personal recommendations are:

The Essential NLP Practitioner’s Handbook by Murielle Maupoint

NLP: How to Use Neuro-Linguistic Programming to Change Your Life (Hay House Basics) by Ali Campbell

NLP at Work: The Essence of Excellence (People Skills for Professionals) by Sue Knight

If you like to watch then check out Tony Robbins – I am not your guru. It’s awesome.

So, if you want to get qualified there is a lot of choice out there. The qualifications start with becoming a NLP practitioner. For example, I completed my training with David Shephard at Performance Partnership. Their website has lots of free resources and taster courses which you can check out.  http://www.performancepartnership.com/

Be careful, once you start getting interested in this stuff you’ll be hooked forever!

Jacqui Flavell – Master Practitioner of NLP

Positive Communication with NLP